Memories are the anchor, immortalizing our story. From their creation, they take shape as the threads that weave our associations, our perspective, our tapestry. Our truth is relative in comparison to “The truth”. I say this not to contradict anyone’s memories or even my own. And I don’t say it in the new age way that it’s been so frequently used these days. Like “you live your truth”. I say it in the mindset that everyone’s perspective is different, as if our perspective is on it’s own plane of reality in time and space. Our perspectives are unique, and each of us has a road map of sorts charted out with our memories and experiences. Two people who witness the same events can have a different recollection of what transpired, and each will take away from it something different. These take aways will shape us. It’s called retrospective influence.
Comedic car trips aside, there are other memories locked up tight in my heart that, like a shadow, creep into my parenting and protectiveness. These aren’t so easy to study in the light of day as goofy sibling antics. They are harder to control, however easy they are to recognize. Is that ok? I don’t know. But revisiting the point that I believe memories are our road map and truth is our compass, I hope that however far of a step back I can take from the memory, it is enough to fact check my perception with truth. What do I know to be true of today? What is true in this situation? And now, how can I apply what I know in a healthy way? These are the types of questions that help me untangle the shadow of memory from the choices of today.
For me, the older I get the more I am able to release defensiveness as a shield from memories that had once maimed my heart. The more I witness of human interactions, the more I understand this idea of our personal plane of reality. I can step back to a healthy vantage point, even if it’s just an inch or a scootch. I can try harder to see all sides of the memory, fact check my perception of the event and maybe heal a little or learn something new.
My parenting will probably cause my kids to do things differently when they become parents. I hope so. I want them to be better people than me. I want them to be better parents than my husband and I. We can’t protect our kids from every harm, no matter how hard we try. If asked outright, I would probably even argue that we shouldn’t.
By making small scootches back from a memory getting a clearer view of my map, and holding tight to my compass of truth, maybe these can help guide me in making wise decisions for the future. Fact checking and growing my field of perspective all seem to help me navigate choices that I make today. In parenting and otherwise.
I’ve talked before about how senses are powerful and can trigger memories to rise to the surface. Memories and senses are linked with emotions. I love how intertwined things can become. How one moment life is throwing gnarly wool heaps at us telling us to weave the tapestry when we don’t even know how to start with the tools that we have! The wool is piling up! I don’t even know how to begin washing it and preparing it to weave! The next thing I know, I look down at this tapestry, this map of my life and memories and realize it hasn’t even been me weaving it all along. The hands of the King are in control and all I have to do is follow along as his Fatherly hands hold mine and create a masterpiece. Perfectly balanced and beautiful. I trust that He is doing the same in my parenting, and with my beautiful children and their tapestries of life.
My name is Jessica, and writing to you here is a genuine passion of mine. My content is usually what I learn while I live. Some is humorous, some is deep and even borderline philosophical although I try to keep it lighter. All of it is written with a joyful heart.
If you’d like to subscribe, that’s incredible and I am honored! If you’d like to support my writing financially or buy me a coffee, I am honored and blessed! If you are here just to read or listen, I’m honored beyond the moon and so grateful. I’m so glad you are here as we juggle our many hats.
My life journey has been anything but boring. Then again, we all have a story to tell. Through addiction, recovery, successes and not-successes, I have learned we all have one precious life to live. We can all gain insight from each other.
You can also check out my other section Juggling in the Kitchen! I’ve started writing more of my food adventures over there so as to organize. Not everyone wants to hear about Patricia (my sourdough starter) or my herbs and gardens. If you do, then welcome!
Share this post