Intentions and a prequel

Here's to unconventional ways and being a little shy about bios.

Introducing myself is not my strong suite. Really. I often over share, overthink. I’ll never not be a mess when it comes to writing bios for myself. I start conversations with total strangers as if we’ve been friends for years. Especially when I feel drawn to someone. I tend to skip pleasantries and resort to more of a conversation volcano. I skipped right over the intro post on Substack here, not because I didn’t deem it helpful, I just don’t do it well. I am more of the jump in without testing the water kinda woman, and I am a little shy about posting this. Recently, a post by Maria Dunn on LinkedIn gave me some extra courage to be vulnerable. Thank you, Maria.

If I didn’t just start writing, I would have thought about it too much. Never would have hit that publish button. That is why I tend to jump in without testing the water. I don’t want the overthinking to ruin what I know will be a good thing. 

Now that I have a start here in the wonderful community of Substack, I suppose I can introduce myself a little better. So, I write this prequel, if you will. I want to introduce myself and set some intentions so that you know what to expect from joining me.

My experiences in life have been varied in many respects. Taking a wise line from Aaron Prager, to say that I have had an intense life is both an overstatement and an understatement in some regards. I don’t often do anything in any conventional way — from college, finding a place to live, starting a business, succeeding at and screwing up so many things. By the time I graduated from college I was 25 years old, married with kids, running businesses while working as a birth doula. I was busy. I was so busy; I didn’t realize when I started to drown.

We expanded businesses and have switched gears multiple times, and now have a third kiddo to keep us hopping. Instead of working outside the home in a traditional way, I have been blessed to have spent the last few years being a mom and helping run our businesses in an unconventional way-go figure. It has been a joy, an adventure that I wouldn't have pictured myself in when I was young. The adventure is better than one I could have ever written. I’ve been able to raise children, raise chickens, enjoy gardening and our green house, take care of our acres of trees and learn about life from a beautiful angle. 

Writing has held a special place in my heart through it all. I’ve never stopped writing whether I’m writing fictional short stories, journaling, researching or as of recently, getting serious about writing a fiction novel. Maybe more on that to come, but first I have to actually finish said novel. 

So, there’s a little bit about doing. Now, maybe a little about who I am. I would describe myself as deep, empathetic, intelligent, an open book. I have real grit and a ‘take on the world’ attitude, yet I’ve learned how to say no to things in life that will just create noise and not be constructive. My near drowning experience has taught me not to overextend myself. The experiences I’ve had make me feel as though I’ve been given a long life. I’ve been given many chances to gain wisdom, and sooooo many chances to learn humility. I sit with them; I have so much gratitude for it all. These opportunities have chiseled away at the gunk the world has tried to cake on to me to cover who God made me to be. They have chiseled me down to bare and raw so that God can build on the design that He intended for me.

Other descriptive words (besides awesome warrior, of course)? My kids describe me as weird. Never too embarrassing to hug, though. I wear my heart on my sleeve and my face doesn’t seem to hide any feelings. I’ll cry on a dime, but I’m far from a wimp. I care very deeply and have also been described as one of the least confrontational people ever. I took it as a compliment.

I’ll finish up about me with an identity that was spoken over me what seems like lifetimes ago. A very dear friend and passionate woman of God prayed over me at a youth gathering. She prayed that I would see myself for the deep deep well that I am; that God has made me to be. A well of wisdom and love. A well that fills and overflows bringing God’s love and light to everyone around. When I have felt tired or dry or close to empty, I remember the truth of what God has called me to be. 

Our life experiences have helped make us who we are today. They do not define us. Sometimes our experiences and choices try to take on an identity within us. The world and it’s obsession with labels often tries to categorize us as our experiences. The labels try desperately to fog how we see ourselves. Instead of allowing shame or guilt about my choices to drown out my hope and confidence, I speak truth over the noise of the lies. I remind myself who God says that I am and fact check the lies that try to hinder my mindset. We are more than our choices.

I won’t shove things in your face. I’m not scathing or harsh. My faith intersects with my daily life and while my faith is not religious or conventional, it is my foundation. You will read much of that intersection in my writing, I’m sure. Though it’s not all you’ll hear.

Wherever you are in life, whoever you are, I respect you as a human. I absolutely do not have the answers to life, instead I am determined to never stop learning and never stop growing. Maybe my introspection and diving a little bit deeper can help you learn and grow, too. Hopefully you learn something fun and new, too.

Intentions: Like most of you, I juggle many hats on a daily basis. I am our daily chaos coordinator, an Innkeeper, a gardener, a health coach for my family, a chef and cooking instructor for our curious kids. From house painting to wood chipping, from pressure canning to customer service phone calls; daily chores are never void of little life lessons. 

I learn best from laying it out and will be writing to myself as much as to all of you who choose to read along with me. I want to share little life lessons learned in daily chores. Some deep, some devotional, some humorous, hopefully all encouraging. Hopefully most will be something that speaks to you and lifts you up. 

My goals are to write to you with intention, both here and in my Juggling in the Kitchen. I don’t want to be an extra noise in your life, so if I write more often it will be because something has lit on fire and you need to hear about it. (Figuratively lit on fire, hopefully not literally). If I write less, it will be because I’m learning about life and am saving up to tell you about it later. I want these letters to you to count.

If I start a paid subscription plan I’ll dub it something like ‘your little extra’. Paid subscriptions would be to help fund my writing to take it from hobby to more. Or to help me pay for more flour to make more bread. Or to help me save up to buy a milk cow. It would include some extra perks that pour into your life in a tangible or deeper way.

Thank you all on Substack for helping me feel so welcome. Thank you to my subscribers who are supporting me in this adventure. You are loved. You are wonderful. You were created. You are beautiful. You belong. I am glad you are here.